Good Neighbour Fence???

The fence

We will call them May & Jay.  At present May & Jay, my neighbors, are no longer on speaking terms with my family and I.  They communicate in grunts, groans and frequent exasperating sighs.  If we are heading out and our neighbors happen to be outside, they will loudly sigh, grunt and groan as they head straight into their house.  My daughter has said hi to May several times and this adult will completely ignore my 3 year old.  I come outside transporting an extremely large and pungent garbage full of dirty diapers, which is a daily event, and May is outside watering her plants again for the 4th time that day,  I am still trying to figure out what this 30 something woman does for a living, she will stop what she is doing, grunt loudly and head into her house.  I often wonder how immature can people truly get.

We use to have friendly conversations about the weather; the economy and we would even offer each other a cold beverage at times.  How did this relationship with our neighbors plunge into the depths of such disdain?  I am going to tell you.

I am going to start from the beginning.  Well not really the beginning, but they seem to think it is where all this started so I am going to start at May and Jay's beginning.

Erika smiling as usual

The beginning was 3 years ago when our other neighbor decided it was time to build a cement retaining wall in between our properties.  In doing so we would also get steel fence posts put in for future use.  After talking it over, my wife and I decided that it would be a good idea to get the other 2 sides done as well.  We approached May & Jay about the idea, that we had a contractor doing all the work and that he charged 18$ a linear foot.  They stated quite clearly that they would not be interested in splitting the cost of the retaining wall with us.  I told them that I understood and that we would be going forward with the retaining wall non-the less.  The work was near completion with the forms in place and the final touches being done so that everything was ready for the cement that was coming the next day.  That is when May approached me and asked if we were still interested in splitting the cost of the retaining wall.  I more than gladly accepted.  Then May quickly ask to add a couple more posts and a couple more feet to the project.  I saw no issues and the contractor made quick work of it having everything ready for the next days pour.   Then came time for the bill.  The contractor handed me the invoice which was very close to what he quoted me, he even broke down the cost of the shared fence so that it was very easy to figure out the split cost which came to 1300$.  I made a copy of the invoice and brought it over to May & Jay.  2 days later May came over to our house and handed me 800$.  I asked her if I would be getting the rest of the money when they got their next paycheck.  May explained to me that 800$ was how much they felt the work was worth and that is all they will be paying.  I remained calm despite my surprise and simply said "Oh, ok."

Trust me after I closed the door, my wife and I said a few unpleasant things about them, but we kept our heads and figured 800$ was better than what they had originally said they were going to contribute.  2 days later May was on my door again and she had the other 500$ in hand saying that they felt bad about agreeing to splitting the cost and then not following through.  I expressed my gratitude and we carried on with being agreeable neighbors.  We will remain bit leery of them but still an affable relationship.

Austin couldn't be happier

Last year my other neighbor started to put up his fence.  I jumped on the wagon and we installed a black chain link fence on our back part and on our shared fence line.  I approached May & Jay about putting chain link up on our shared side of the property and they begged me not too, saying they wanted to put up a wood fence.  Being fairly easy going I had no problem with such a request.  I asked when they wanted to do this and they wanted to wait till next year when they will have the funds to do so.  I agreed to their request and we held off on completing the fence.

Before the fence was up

Spring is almost over and summer is quickly approaching and no word as to if and when this fence project was going to start.  Then out of the blue May comes over to tell me that they will start work on the fence in 2 days.  With my job I require 90 days notice to be able to request specific days off.  And even that does not mean I will get approved for those days off.  I mentioned this to them many times during the winter, but I guess 2 days notice is OK.  In any case I told her I would help as much as I can.

Do you mind, I'm pooping.

Jay committed to welding the tabs on the fence posts while I was at work.  I got home around noon and went straight to their backyard helping them with the back part of their fence till diner time.  The day after I had to go out of town for a doctor's appointment for my son.  One of those 6 hour round trip.  Not something you make your wife do on her own with 2 young ones.  I got back at around 4 in the afternoon and still managed to help with the completion of the fence for another 5 hours.  After all was said and done, I brought out some beers and we chatted about stuff.  Jay said once he sat down and figured it out he would let me know what our share of the fence would be.

2 days later while I was at work again, Jay dropped off and invoice.  The invoice for the wood fence stated:

77 ft @ 25$ a linear foot = 1930$

1930$ / 2 = 965$

They wanted 965$ for our half of the fence.  The numbers didn't make sense to me so I went to a few places getting quotes on what it would cost to get a fence build out of wood.  The highest quote I received was 778$.  That included everything from wood to screws.  The 778$ was the total cost.  That would mean that our half would be 389$, but that is before you take of the cost of materials I provided as well.  The metal tabs Jay welded on the fence posts cost 178$ and he used 30 on our common fence and 20 on his back fence.  So I was having trouble dealing with this invoice of 965$.  Especially since 77 multiplied by 25 does not equate to 1930.  I knew exactly what they were trying to do, they wanted me to pay for the whole damn thing.  So I had to wait a few days before going over and having chat with them because I could not trust that I would stay civil when discussing the issue at hand.  I took counsel with my father trying to get someone with a cooler head and a wealth of knowledge in dealing with people and their ignorance.

I made my inquiries, checked with city officials and vented to many people.  Once I was confident in my position I went over to May & Jay and asked them how they arrived at the numbers showing on their quote.   May simply stated that they had put a lot of work into that fence and that they wanted to be paid for their trouble.  I asked for some receipts and stated clearly that in no way could they charge me for labor they did on their own property, especially since they had not even discussed it with me prior to the work.   She began to argue and then said she would get me the receipts but stated that she didn't have any receipts for the gas they spend on driving around getting the material or the electricity they used while welding.

The next day there was an envelope sticking out of our mailbox.  It was a letter stapled to a stack of receipts.  I siphoned through the stack attempting to piece together what all these receipts were for and to what avail.  After reading the letter I came to the conclusion that they wanted me to pay for half the tools they bought to build the fence.  I will not go into detail but out of the 1400$ in receipts, 836$ was applicable.  I included the pencils and the drill bits.  I did not include the wood they used for their back fence nor the measuring tapes and power cords.  I then subtracted half of what I paid for the metal tabs that went onto the fence posts.  I wrote them a check clearly writing that this was the final payment for our half of the fence.

Guess where I am sitting

The check that I wrote for 338.49$ was cashed.  I did not respond to their letter in which they declared me an a$$hole and they found it appalling that I would not pay them for their work considering if we had gotten a contractor it would have cost twice as much and that I would have had no problem paying for 50% of it then.  In reality I would never had agreed to pay for a contractor to put up our fence when the year before I was ready to do it myself and for an even smaller price tag.  The other issue I have is that they never took into consideration the work I put into helping them put up their fence or the work i put into my own fence.  My own labor and the materials I supplied were trivial to them but I am the a$$hole.  My father told me to take the high road and to not respond to the letter.  I am glad I did.  The behavior proves to me that they wouldn't have bothered to try and see my point of view let alone how the real world is.  

Monster Truck

May & Jay can continue to stew in their fenced yard ignoring my family and I with their grunts and groans.  As I look back on this whole situation, I regret actually not paying their bill.  Why you ask?  Because last winter I used my snow blower to clear their sidewalk and part of their driveway close to 12 times.  Now at the going rate I feel I am worth I figure i could have sent them an invoice for an easy 1300$.  And with winter just around the corner, I just think of all that potential income lost.  ***SIGH***   Hind sight. 

Austin trying to change Erika's bum

Sleep is important.

Austin with play glasses.  Erika calls him doctor when wearing these.

Austin is the typical 9-month-old little guy.  He is grabbing at anything and everything while trying to cram same items into his pie hole.  He is also for some unknown reason, unable to change his own diapers.

Austin with iv

Austin recently contracted the Rota Virus.  It is known to cause sever diarrhea and sometimes vomiting.  In Austin's case, he would eat a jar of mushy bananas and 5 minutes later it would be flying out the other end at such a speed that the diaper was merely diverting "it" instead of containing "it".  This means that he is not getting the nutrients he needs and it also means that he was getting severely dehydrated.  So my wife got to spend 3 glorious day in the hospital with my son who had to have an IV in his arm at all times.  Not so much fun for a 9 month old,  he was a trooper though.     

Erika watching a movie on the portable DVD player in the hospital.

During that time my daughter and I commuted back and forth from the house to the hospital, bringing my wife supplies and letting Erika get to see her mom for a bit.  We also managed to sneak in a trip to see the circus.  What a crock that was by the way.  Erika was more interested in the stadium chairs that would go up when she stood up.  All they kept doing was pushing you to buy there over priced low-end crap and boring us with dated tricks meant for a smaller venue.

Austin relaxing in the hospital.

My wife had a heck of a time during her stay in the hospital.  Austin had to have the iv in his arm 24/7, the nurses keep coming in to check up on the little guy every hour or so causing the little guy to stir in his sleep if not wake up completely.  The cleaning staff seemed to be oblivious of the fact that there were children trying to sleep and would natter to each other garishly.  Last but not least there were the random screaming and crying from other poor little kiddo's in the same ward.  Lets just say that his sleeping schedule consisted of catching a hour of sleep here and maybe 20 to 30 minutes there for 3 whole days.  Horrifying to say the least, and I am glad they only had to spend 3 days there.  My heart goes out to all who have to spend any extend time in a hospital.

Well Austin is back home, happy and healthy again.  The only issue that remains is that his sleeping schedule has gone by the wayside.  He would wake up every 2 to 3 hours and demands to be fed.  This meant you put the little guy to bed at 8:00 PM; he would wake up at 10:30 or 11:00 PM screaming bloody murder because his tummy was rumbling as though a freight train were rushing by.  Then at 2:00 AM he would be up again because this damn train kept coming round.  And you guessed it, at 5:00 AM the $%&# train would be back.

Our new favorite book.

The person who suffered the most was I.  Mainly because I had to listen to my wife complain about how tired she was and how tough it was to have to get up every 3 hours to feed this little bundle of...  I am not going to repeat that last little part; it was the lack of sleep talking.  Hearing all this was not conducive to my well-being.  So I started reading; "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems", by Richard Ferber, MD.  I read it from start to finish and wouldn't you know it?  They had case studies and examples of exactly what I was going thru.  They even had charts to help you track your progress in resolving the issue.  I showed the charts to my wife and told her that this is what she was going to have to do to resolve my problem, and in doing so would solve her problem as well.

 We have done the 7-day program and I can happily state that he no longer wakes up hungry 3 to 4 times a night.  He is sleeping close to 10 hours at a time.  WoooHooo!!!  But now he is not sleeping thru the night due to his teething, poor guy.  This too shall pass.  At least when his teeth are not bothering him he sleeps thru the night.

Needless to say, life has been interesting these past weeks.  I myself have managed to log a total of 2 hours on my Xbox this month.  To be honest, I would much rather watch Erika get mad at me because I told her to stop kicking at her brother while he is rolling on the ground; he doesn't crawl, he rolls.  I also enjoy listening to Austin complain as I pull his trophy clumps of hair he recently acquired from his sisters scalp out of his little hands, rather than to play my video games.

Trials And Tribulations. Oh What Fun.

Trying to negotiate with a toddler has proven to be as futile as trying to carry a bucket of steam across a football field during a punt return.  I am not saying it's impossible, but at this point in time the odds are against me.

First of all, I have a two and a half year old daughter who thinks she is 15.  She is also trying to ascertain how much clout she has within the nucleus of our family.  Which pretty well means we are in the oh so glorious "NO" stage.  I had hoped that we had bypassed this when we managed to get her to say; "No thank you" instead of the grating one syllable alternative.

It was cute, she would put her hand up as a cop would to stop traffic and with a loud shrilling voice yell; "NO THANK YOU!".  As obnoxious as it may have seemed, it always put a smile on my face, and at times I found myself struggling to keep a straight face when the issue was a little more serious.

Alas those days are gone for now.  At present when you ask my daughter if she is ready to go for her nap, she will answer with a resounding "NO".  When you press the issue, she responds with an even louder "NO", and to add emphasis she will clench her first and hit her thigh.

The clenched fist thigh striking action has been something my daughter has been working on since birth.  It started out with her tossing herself backwards when you were trying to change her diaper or when you didn't get the bottle in her mouth fast enough.  She then progressed to head butting things when she got angry or frustrated.  Nary an object was safe from her head-smashing version of personal justice.  This worked out just fine for her till the occasional miss calculation would occur.  We have hardwood flooring throughout our house.  Hardwood is somewhat forgiving when one chooses to head butt it.  Our granite counter tops, not so much. A cement sidewalk is even less forgiving.  So her head butts became push-ups where she would tentatively tap her forehead on the floor, in an angry way of course.

She then progressed to hitting things to get her point across.  You would ask her to pick up her toys or something that would involve an activity not on her approved list.  She would get mad and bring her fist of furry down upon our defenseless footstool, proclaiming her indignation to the situation.  This went on for a couple of weeks, right up until she got angry outside and the only object around to aid in her display of ire was a stone planter.

This brings us to our present stage; the fist clenched thigh strike.  After all her hard work in modifying and perfecting this beautiful expression of individuality, she still doesn't always get here way.

Don't take this the wrong way.  My daughter is a pretty happy go lucky kid.  She just has her moments, as does everyone.  In fact I find all this quite entertaining and it gets more and more difficult to keep a straight face when she does something new and even more hilarious.